NBA Playoffs Part Deux

So the Bulls and the Celtics series has FINALLY ended with the good guys coming out on top!!!  With Boston winning and the Hawks pulling out the “W” over Miami, the door has opened to the glorious second round of the playoffs.  As I love to do, I am going to force feed you all my theories on how these series will play out and then when I am horribly wrong, I will blame it all on you!!!

Orlando vs. Boston

If Kevin Garnett were able bodied (don’t they have cortisone in Boston?) I wouldn’t even waste my massively valuable time writing up this synopsis but since he isn’t, here I GO!!!  After a long series with Chicago we learned a few things about the “new” Celts,  #1 Paul Pierce isn’t as good as he thinks.  Sure he made some big shots but he also effed up a lot, i.e) fouling Noah on a bonehead play that probably cost them the game if not another over time. #2 Boston can get REALLY thin, REALLY fast up front (I am really trying to get a Big Baby joke in here but I am tired) and #3 Brian Scalabrine and Tony Allen are part of an elaborate rouse by Ashton Kutcher to Punk the whole world into thinking these 2 DUDS could actually make and NBA squad.  As for Orlando, I think they are way too big for the Celts but not too deep for them.  If they can get O Town in foul trouble, I think they will be able to pressure their back up players into a big enough hole that they can’t recover but that is a LOOONG stretch….Magic in 6

Atlanta vs. Cleveland

If you skipped the first match up to get to this one you may want to go back to the first sentence and read slowly.  My time is valuable and the Cavaliers time is too.  I mean how is LeBron going to celebrate being MVP at 24 years old when he has to play these damn playoff games.  Cavs = good, Hawks = not good enough. Cavs in 4

Lakers vs. Rockets

I think this is a match up I am anticipating more than most people.  One of 2 of the worlds best players (depending on who you like better) vs. one of the worlds best defenders and piss off artists.  And if you don’t know who I am talking about, its Yao Ming and Sasha Vujacic…..No seriously, earlier in the year Kobe vs. Artest was AWESOME and gave me my favourite clip of the year which I posted on the site here.  I think people are MAJORLY looking past the Big Man and his band of merry men and just thinking LeBron/Kobe finals.  Houston is here for a reason, they have a deep team filled with role players that just come to play basketball.  Sure they don’t have T-Mac but T-Mac doesn’t have knees or a back so he would only slow them down.  What I think this series will come down to is how well Ming can play Gasol and how bad Artest can piss off Kobe.  If Ming gets in foul trouble consistently, Houston loses.  If Artest can piss Kobe off enough to make him shoot 50 times and forget his teammates, I think LA loses.  But…LA in 6

Denver vs. Dallas

I have previously stated my disdain for the Mavericks and their style of play and nothing afforded me more happiness then seeing them get beat on Sunday while I was nursing a WICKED hangover (THANK YOU PACQUIAO).  I think Denver is WAY too deep, too dirty and too well rounded to even get sucked into the Diggler’s one man band act.  Billups is better than Kidd (at this point in their career), anyone is better than JJ Barea, JR Smith is Jason Terry with attitude, Melo and Dirk are  fairly even, Martin is a real thug as opposed to Josh Howard and Nene is a REAL beast as opposed to Ericka Dampier (shout out to the Big Shaqtus).  I can see the Mavs lulling the Nuggets to sleep for a game or two so I will say….Denver in 6

Let me know what you guys think in the comments section….PROVE ME WRONG CELTICS!!!

Peace!

WHAT…A…GAME!!!

Holy Moly!!!  WHAT A BALL GAME!!!  For those of you that didn’t watch the Celts/Bulls game, LEAVE NOW!!!  Ok, just kidding, STAY PLEASE!!!  If you missed last nights game, unfortunately I can’t describe all the excitement, let down, what the fuck and HOW DID HE DO THAT moments. But I can give you a quick run down of what I saw and what you can watch for in the HUGE game 7 tomorrow night.  If you saw something I missed, let me know in the comments.

Things I learned

• Tony Allen is a good basketball player and very smart - Sorry, if you didn’t get that, I meant I learnt sarcasm last night.  He is by FAR neither of those things.
• Ray Allen is a robot - He was sent from a planet where all the inhabitants have ice in their veins and thie nerves are made of steel. Oh and they also have granite in their scrotum’s in place of testes.
• Paul Pierce gives me hope to play basketball until im 45 - There isn’t a player that looks less mobile in the league but scores as many points or gets to the line more than Pierce.  He’s basically the EXACT opposite of Tony Allen.
• Kirk Hinrich is a little bit Gangsta –  After Rondo gave him the Irish Whip into the scorers table he looked like he could have been an extra in The Wire.
• Big Baby can hit big shots – With Pierce and Allen doubled and tripled teamed consistently someone needed to step up and it was the big man again and again.
• Derrick Rose is going to be GOOD, like REAL GOOD - The kid is good now but win or lose this series, he is going to have some of the BEST playoff experience under his belt and that’s going to make him that much better.  Remember, he is ONLY a rookie.
• Doc River and Vinny Del Negro might be good coaches – WOW!  You think as many minutes as these teams have played against each other that they would have seen it all.  But time after time these coaches pull some unreal play out of their book and it almost always works.
• Overtime is FUN! – I like the Celtics always have but I must admit as soon as overtime hits I just want the game to go on forever.  Its fast, exciting and good damn is it fun.  PLEASE LET TOMORROW GO INTO OT!!!
• I scream like a girl- Last night, my apartment must have sounded like a Justin Timberlake concert every time Ray Ray nailed a big shot.
• Joakim Noah is Ugly – STRAIGHT UP!!!

Game 7 goes tomorrow night at 8pm in Boston…GO CELTS!!!

Peace!